Family Tragedy
by CarebearKara
Summary: [Hiatus] Future fic. Trory. Rory and Tristan have been married for five years and are expecting their first baby. But when an tragedy occurs their lives are changed. Can they get through it in one piece? Chapter six up.
1. Emptiness, Pain and Loss

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter three. They really help alot. LoVe23 is now the beta for this fic.**

**Family Tragedy**  
By KarahBella

Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm really sure that if they did belong to me, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.

**Summary: Trory. Rory and Tristan have been married for five years and are expecting their first baby. But when a tragedy occurs there lives are changed.**

_Author's Note: This was started a little while ago when I was thinking of some stuff that had recently happened and I got this idea. Some of the events are based on real occurrences. Feedback would be greatly appreciated._

**Prologue: Emptiness, Pain and Loss:**

Twenty-seven-year old Lorelai Leigh DuGrey sat rocking a chair in the half-done former nursery. Just a month ago she'd been happily awaiting the arrival of her first child. All that had been ruined in one horrible night. A night Rory would rather forget. She had been pregnant only two months when unforeseen complications in the pregnancy caused her to lose her baby. Now, all that was left was hurt, an incredible sense of loss, and an intense feeling of emptiness. While Tristan was at work, Rory sat in the rocking chair or laid in bed thinking about their baby and the life they wouldn't have. Rory was so deep in thought that she didn't even notice her husband was home until he spoke.

"Ror, it's late." He said kneeling in front of the chair.

"So tired, Tris." Rory mumbled, "Can't move."

"Baby, you okay?" Tristan asked helping his wife out of the chair.

Rory didn't answer so he took that as a no. He got her out of the chair and took her to their room to put her to bed. He hated to see the person he loved more than his own life, so empty and practically lifeless. He crawled into bed after putting Rory in and wrapped his arms around her.

'_If I could go back and change this past month, I would.'_ Tristan thought as he fell into a fitful sleep.


	2. Unbearable Pain

**Chapter 1: Unbearable Pain:**

Twenty-seven-year-old Tristan Michael DuGrey was on a plane headed for Sydney, Australia on a business trip. A trip he was dreading with every minute that passed. Tristan loved his job, but this business trip came at the wrong time. His wife of five years was two months pregnant with their first child, and he had to be away from her for three weeks. He hated knowing that he had to be so far away from her for so long, especially since lately, she'd been having problems with the pregnancy. He'd only been gone for a few hours, but he already missed her and was really anxious to talk to her to see how she was doing. He knew, however that her grandparents were throwing a party that she would have to attend without him.

'_I'll just call her when I get settled.'_ Tristan thought.

Back in Hartford, Rory was trying to find an outfit for the party. So far she'd had no success. Being two months pregnant was making her a little awkward and had started to hinder her clothing sizes. She had an hour left until she was supposed to leave for her grandparents and she still couldn't find anything. She was beginning to get frustrated as she had been looking since she got back from taking Tristan to airport two hours ago.

Ring…ring.

"Hello?" Rory answered after locating the phone. She had inherited her mother's ability to misplace the phone.

"Hey, mini-me." Lorelai replied.

"Hey, mom." Rory said, "What's up?"

"Luke won't give me coffee." Lorelai replied.

"Per usual." Rory said, rolling her eyes in amusement. "So are you guys coming to grandma and grandpa's party?"

"Yes. No choice." Lorelai replied, "So did Tristan leave for Australia yet?"

"Yep. Two hours ago. And I've been looking in my closet for clothes since then." Rory replied.

"Two hours, huh?" Lorelai asked.

"Yes. And nothing." Rory said, sighing in frustration.

"What about the blue spaghetti strap shimmery dress?" Lorelai suggested.

"Doesn't fit." Rory replied.

"The red sleeveless?" Lorelai asked.

"That too. None of my current formal or semi-formal dresses fit anymore." Rory replied, "Well they do but they're a little tight and no one but family knows I'm pregnant yet."

"Why not?" Lorelai asked.

"Because it would create too much publicity around me and Tristan and we both don't want that. All of Hartford and most of Connecticut will know within a day once we tell anyone else." Rory replied, "The problems of both of us having high profile jobs."

"So not even Paris and Lane know?" Lorelai asked, "And when are you telling friends?"

"When it is totally impossible to hide and Paris and Lane do know." Rory replied.

Paris and Lane had actually been the first to know. Before Tristan had even known, but that was only because she had been scared of what he would say once she told him.

"You know I'm not the kind of person to be in the spotlight." Rory added.

"Yes but you are a Gilmore and you're married to a DuGrey as well as working at the top newspaper in Connecticut." Lorelai told her daughter, "And Tristan's job is pretty high up there."

"Exactly the reason only family and Lane and Paris know so far." Rory said, "I still have nothing to wear though."

"Then it's a good thing I am standing outside your house." Lorelai remarked looking at the sheer size of her daughter and son-in-law's house. Rory was a part of the world she had tried to save her from.

"What? Why?" She asked as she gave up the clothes search and headed downstairs.

"Just come to the door and find out." Lorelai replied.

"Mean." Rory said as she finished descending the stairs, "Hey I'm gonna hang up the phone and answer the door." She added before hanging up the phone.

"Okay." Lorelai said also hanging up her cell.

Rory put the phone down on the table in the foyer before she opened the door.

"My daughter!" Lorelai said her arms full of garment bags.

"My mom! " Rory said, "Okay we make it sound as if we haven't seen each other in ages."

"It's been two days. That's long enough for me." Lorelai remarked putting the bags down and hugging her daughter.

"Okay." Rory said hugging her mom back.

"So I brought you some dresses to look at." Lorelai said.

"What like you knew I didn't have anything to wear?" Rory wondered laughing, "Anything good in those garment bags?"

"Only the best for my lovely pregnant daughter." Lorelai answered, "And I anticipated that you would have nothing to wear."

After taking some time to look through the dresses her mom brought by for her, she finally found one that met with her approval and got ready. "Hon, I'll meet you there, ok? Luke's already there, and I know he's probably bored out of his mind!" Lorelai called out to Rory before heading out to her car.

"Okay mom! See you there!" Rory responded before shutting the door to her room. As soon as she was finished, she headed out the door to her grandparent's to meet up with her mom and Luke.

The Gilmore's' party was in full swing, and in typical Hartford style, only the who's who of Hartford elite were in attendance. It was a pretty boring party and without Tristan there, Rory was feeling a little lonely. She was the only married person there who didn't have her partner present.

'_Stupid business trip.'_ She thought as she walked around the party mingling.

One thing she really hated was that Tristan was often gone on long business trips. She hated being alone in the huge house, by herself with just maids and other servants. Her whole life growing up she had lived with just her mom. Then it had been Paris all through Yale and then with Tristan after Yale. They didn't live in the house they were in until they got married though. Rory's grandparent's party ended about 11 pm and Rory started to drive home. As soon as she got home, she got undressed and crawled into bed. She lay there in the dark for a few minutes, and rubbed her still flat stomach. "Night, baby. Daddy will be home soon." she said before turning over and going to sleep. She quietly muttered to herself. "It's just three weeks."

Two weeks later, one week before Tristan would arrive home, Lorelai had decided to go visit Rory and spend some time with her. She rang the doorbell, but no one came to answer the door. After a few moments of no answer, she tried calling the house phone, then Rory's cell. Still no response. Finally getting worried, she let herself in with her the key they had given her.

"Rory!" she called out from the foyer. Nothing.

She decided to go upstairs, and see if maybe Rory was just asleep. "Rory are you here!" she called again. As she got closer to Rory's room, she heard a small whimper. "Rory?" she said quietly, as she pushed open the door.

"Mom!" she heard Rory's weak reply come from the bathroom. She quickly made her way to the bathroom, where she found Rory curled up on the floor in pain. Rory was crying, as she clutched her stomach.

"Rory! What happened to you?" she exclaimed as she went over to help Rory sit up.

"Mom! It hurts so much!" she said through gritted teeth.

The first thing Lorelai thought of was the baby. All Rory could think of was that she wished Tristan was back already.

"Hun, I'm taking you to the hospital." Lorelai said. She'd come into Hartford to spend the afternoon with her daughter.

Lorelai tried to help Rory walk down the stairs, which wasn't easy due to the pain Rory was in, and took her to the jeep. Then she hopped into the driver's seat and headed for the hospital. When they got there, she immediately rushed Rory into the emergency room. A nurse came up to them and asked what was wrong.

"She's pregnant, and she's having abdominal pains." Lorelai replied.

"Name?" The nurse asked.

"Lorelai DuGrey." Lorelai replied answering for her daughter. It didn't look like Rory was about to answer any questions at the moment anyway.

Eventually Rory was taken to a room and told that a doctor would be in to see her soon. She'd started to worry about the baby and what could be wrong. Now she really wished that Tristan was here cause she needed him, but she knew it would be another week before she could see him. Lorelai was in the room with Rory and had called everyone except Tristan because she was planning on finding out what was going on before she called him long distance.

"So you called everyone, mom?" Rory asked sitting up in the bed with another pain, "Including Tristan?"

"I'm waiting until we know what's going on before I call Tristan." Lorelai answered, "I don't want to freak him out and then say we know nothing."

"Makes sense I guess." Rory said but all she could think was '_He should know and he should've been the first to know.'_

"He'll be the first one I call when the doctor tells us what's going on." Lorelai assured her daughter, "Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks, mom." Rory replied laying back down. It didn't matter what position she was in, she just couldn't seem to get comfortable.

"Well I'm going to go find myself some coffee." Lorelai said before she went to kiss her daughter's forehead, "I'll be back." She added before exiting the room.

As soon as Lorelai left the room Rory's eyes went to the phone that was beside her bed. She wanted, no she needed to talk to Tristan. She wasn't happy with waiting until they found out what was going on for her mom to call him and let him know what was going on. He needed to know that she needed him now. She picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Hello?" Tristan answered.

"Tris, it's me." Rory replied still in pain.

**This is the beta version and I have to say it's alot better than the un betaed version.**


	3. Lost Baby

**Lala you made this chapter so much better than it was. Thanks a ton.**

**Chapter 2: Lost Baby:**

When Tristan first heard her voice, an uneasy feeling came over him. '_Something's wrong.'_ He thought to himself. There was something in her voice. He didn't know what it was, but he knew something just wasn't right. After realizing he hadn't said anything yet, he finally spoke up.

"Ror, what's wrong?" He asked, concern evident in his voice. "You don't sound so good."

"Tris, I need you here." Rory replied, trying to hold back her sobs. "I'm in the hospital and it won't stop hurting. It hurts so much, Tris!" By the end, her voice came out sounding strangled, from keeping back the tears, and trying not to scream out in pain.

As soon as he heard the word 'hospital', he began to panic. Rory needed him. He had to go home…**_now_**. Even though his meetings were almost done, he had to leave. His wife and baby needed him, and they were so much more important than any meeting would ever be. "Baby, I'll be there as soon as possible." He said, "How's our little baby?"

"I don't know, Tristan, but I think something is seriously wrong." Rory said, as she started to cry her words becoming jumbled.

She didn't know what she would do if she somehow lost the baby. Pain shot through her abdomen and it was excruciating. A pain like no other.

As soon as Tristan heard what she said, and the pain in her voice he thought to himself '_They better be ok. They have to be.'_ He knew that if they lost the baby he would be upset, but he had no idea how Rory would handle it and she was his life. She was the most important person to him.

"Oh, baby, I promise I'll be there as soon as possible." Tristan said. He couldn't stand the thought of her going through all this without him there to help her through it.

"Tris." She said before she was cut off by more pain. Then suddenly, something worse happened. She saw blood. She dropped the phone and screamed.

Tristan hadn't heard Rory say his name as he had already hung up to make arrangements to head home. He hadn't heard her screams, so he had no idea what would be waiting for him when he got back to Hartford. Lorelai had been just outside Rory's room talking to her parents and Luke, when she heard the scream. She and a doctor, who had also heard the screams, ran into the room. Lorelai couldn't bear to see her daughter so scared, and in so much pain. She figured Rory could tell something really bad was happening and neither was prepared for the news the doctor would be giving them in a few short moments. All Rory was really aware of was the pain and the bleeding.

"Mrs. DuGrey, I'm really sorry to say this but you've just had a miscarriage." The doctor said and all Rory felt was numb.

As soon as the words were out of Dr. Crane's mouth, Rory just sat there.

Her baby was gone after only two months. She couldn't say a word. Lorelai was almost speechless as well, but she there was one question she had to ask.

"Is there anyway to find out what happened?" She asked figuring that Rory would probably start wondering that soon. She had never noticed the phone hanging off the hook.

Meanwhile in Australia Tristan had just called the people he was supposed to be meeting with and explained the situation to the best of his knowledge. Luckily they were sympathetic saying they could reschedule at a more convenient time. His next call was the airport to book the next flight back to Hartford. He was on the phone when Lorelai tried to call him.

"Yes I'd like to book a ticket for the next flight to Hartford, Connecticut." Tristan said. During the whole time, his mind was on Rory and the baby.

"That will be 1399.00 dollars or 1,985.53 AUD." The airline rep said.

Tristan didn't care all he cared about was getting to Rory as soon as possible. "I'll take it. I'll pay by credit card when I get to the airport." Money had never been a problem for him growing up and it wasn't about to be an issue now. One-thousand-three-hundred and ninety-nine dollars was a lot of money but it wasn't like he couldn't afford it.

After making the flight arrangements he packed up his stuff, checked out of the hotel and headed for the airport. After finally getting through security and boarding the plane, Tristan looked at his phone to discover he had voicemail. He couldn't check it now, plus he was exhausted, so he turned it off and tried to go to sleep. He fell into a fitful sleep thinking about Rory and what was going on with her and the baby. Tristan slept most of the plane ride back. As soon as they landed he got off the plane, headed for baggage claim, grabbed his bags and caught a cab.

"Hartford Memorial Hospital." He told the cab driver. The cabbie quickly navigated the streets of Hartford. Once they reached the hospital, Tristan paid the fare, and gave the cabbie some extra cash. "Could you also drive to 456 Asylum Hill and drop off my bags?" He really didn't want to have to carry them around the hospital. The cabbie nodded his agreement and voiced his gratitude at the large tip Tristan had given him.

Tristan gave a quick wave in acknowledgement as he ran into the hospital. Once inside, he ran straight to the nurse's station.

"What room is Lorelai DuGrey in?" He asked, as he tried to catch his breath. He was a man on a mission, he didn't need anything to get in his way now. He was so close. "I'm her husband." He added figuring that might speed up the process. He needed to be with Rory.

"She's in room 213, Mr. DuGrey." The on-duty-nurse replied.

Tristan said thanks and rushed off before she could say anything else. He found Rory's room pretty easily and saw Lorelai in there, talking to Rory. Rory was lying on the bed and he could see her face and there was a look on his beautiful wife's face that he'd never seen before. He walked into the room and to Rory thinking '_What's wrong?'_ The look on his face let him know that it wasn't going to be good news.

Tristan looked at Lorelai and saw almost the exact same look on her face. He then he looked back down at Rory as Lorelai exited the room.

"Sweetie, I'm here now." He said, tracing the side of Rory's face with his right index finger.

When Rory looked up at Tristan, he could see that she was trying to hold back tears. He took her hand intertwining their fingers, encouraging her to talk to him. The feeling she got when she saw Tristan was inexplicable but she knew she could face the news with him at her side. Once he took her hand in his, she knew she didn't have to hold back anymore.

"Our baby is gone, Tris. Our baby is gone." She cried letting all her grief and sorrow out.

Tristan couldn't say anything and while his heart was breaking for their little baby, it was breaking more for his wife. When they had first started trying to get pregnant the doctor had told them it was almost impossible. After all they had gone through together, they had finally gotten pregnant. To have it all turn out like this was almost too much.

Tristan pulled her into his arms letting her cry. Not letting go, he moved onto the bed beside her. He held her tight and stroked her hair as she sobbed. After a few minutes, her breathing had evened out, and she fell asleep, clinging tightly to Tristan. Tristan was at a loss. He didn't know what to do. Finally, everything he had put aside to get back to Rory came rushing in all at once, and he was exhausted. He placed a kiss on his wife's head, hugged her a little tighter, and fell asleep. That's the way Dr. Crane found them when she came to check on Rory later that night.

She paused at the doorway, to take in the scene before her for a moment, feeling sorry for the young couple. After a minute, she walked over and gently shook Tristan awake. "So you must be the husband." she said, giving him a sad smile. Tristan nodded as he yawned.

"Yes. What happened, Doc?" Tristan asked, needing to know. He slowly got out of bed, making sure not to wake Rory up. "What caused the miscarriage?"

"Your wife had an ectopic pregnancy." Dr. Crane replied, "She doesn't know this yet as I just found out. I came here to tell her, but she hasn't had much sleep since she got here." She added looking at Rory in bed.

"What is an ectopic pregnancy?" Tristan asked confused.

After Dr. Crane explained to Tristan what an ectopic pregnancy was, she left the room. He lay back down and tried to fall asleep again but he couldn't. He looked at Rory and thought '_If it's this hard for me, there's no telling what it's doing to Rory.'_ The person in question started to shift around on the small hospital bed and finally opened her bloodshot eyes.

"Tris, don't go." She gasped, reaching out for him. She was so scared he was going to have to leave again. The one thing she felt was that she didn't want to be left alone. She already felt so alone without her baby.

Tristan heard the fear in her voice. He knew that he wouldn't leave her for anything right now. "I'm not going anywhere, baby." He told her rubbing her back as she leaned into him.

"I don't know what I'm feeling." Rory told him as the tears started again, "We didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl." She added. "No we didn't." Tristan agreed sadly, as he continued to comfort his wife.

The more she thought about it the more it made her sad. As Tristan sat there with her and watched her, all he could feel was helplessness. He didn't know what he could do or even if there was anything he could do. He knew that the one thing he could do was to be there for here whenever or if ever she needed him. With that decision, he knew he wouldn't be leaving Hartford for business anytime soon. The only thing that mattered right now was taking care of his family. The only thing he cared about was Rory.


	4. Empty Nursery

**Chapter 3: Empty Nursery:**

The next day, Dr. Crane explained to Rory, what had happened and what an ectopic pregnancy was. The young couple sat quietly, for a moment before the dreaded question was asked. "What are the chances of getting pregnant again?" Tristan was the one who spoke up sensing that Rory was too numb to voice her concerns.

Dr. Crane looked at the faces of both Tristan and Rory before she replied, "I won't lie to you. It won't be easy. About thirty percent of women have a problem becoming pregnant again. You have about a forty percent chance of becoming pregnant again and approximately fifteen percent chance of it being an ectopic pregnancy, if you do." Dr. Crane knew the last part would be the hardest part for the couple to accept.

Unable to hold it in any longer, Rory burst into tears. The information from the doctor had caused her more pain than she thought possible. Tristan turned to Rory and wrapped his arms around her. Dr. Crane slipped out of the room leaving the devastated couple alone. Tristan continued to hold his wife, and comfort her while she continued to grieve. He was smart enough to know that there was no way he could understand her pain even though he was also in pain and needed to grieve. The only thing he knew was that he needed to be there for Rory.

Rory was released from the hospital two days ago and had been spending a lot of time in the room that had been in the process of being converted into a nursery. Tristan had been paying an interior decorator to decorate it in neutral colors since they didn't know the sex of their baby. He would often find Rory in the rocking chair that Luke had made for them. Luke had also made the matching change table and crib. Rory would sit there, rocking back and forth thinking. She knew Tristan thought that spending all the time in the nursery wasn't helping her that much but for some reason she was drawn to it. Tristan couldn't count the number of times he'd found her there still rocking late at night. On this particular night he found her standing by the change table, just looking at it. Tristan walked up behind her and gently slid his arms around her waist not wanting to scare her or freak her out. Ever since coming home from the hospital, Rory would go into a weird trance like state. Feeling her husband's arms around her, she came out of her daze and leaned against Tristan. They just stood there together, not speaking. Rory turned around in Tristan's arms so she was facing him, then she leaned her head on his shoulder. Sometimes there was nothing they could say to each other. Rory didn't know how to deal with her grief and sorrow and Tristan didn't know how to help her. He figured there was really nothing he could say that would make her feel better. It didn't stop him from trying, and boy did he try. Most of the time she didn't want to hear whatever it was he was saying so Tristan just let it go and held her. That was the one thing he knew she didn't mind a lot of the time.

Tristan gently pulled her closer and said just as gently "What are you thinking about, Ror?"

"Everything is so empty, Tris." She replied sadly.

Tristan didn't know what to say after that. He knew she wasn't really talking about the nursery but that was almost completely empty as well. He knew she really meant the empty feeling she got from the loss of their baby. Tristan found himself sometimes wondering if the fact that they didn't know the sex of the baby was making it worse. Since Rory was only two months pregnant at the time finding out the sex hadn't been an option yet.

'_Will things ever go back to they way they were before?'_ He found himself thinking when things seemed to be really bad. All he knew at the moment was that he had to be there for his wife no matter what.

"Everything is so empty and I'm so tired." Rory said as she tried to find comfort in her husband's arms. She knew Tristan would be there for her no matter what.

When Tristan got back to Hartford and found out what had happened to Rory, he told his father that he wouldn't be able to take any more business trips until he knew Rory was ok. He didn't want anything happening to her again, and not be there to help her. He didn't care if that took months of even years. They were both having a hard time dealing with the loss and emptiness but Tristan had decided to be strong for Rory and that nothing else but her comfort mattered. He knew this was hard for her, and was worried since she really didn't do much. All she did was stay in bed or go to the nursery. Sometimes she would walk in there without even realizing it. He knew that her most frequent stop was the rocking chair that she would have rocked their baby to sleep in.

**Repost of this chapter since I apparently blanked on that before...anyway here ya go...probably a million times better than it was.**


	5. Dealing or Denying?

**Chapter 4: Dealing or Denying:**

Two weeks had now passed since she lost her baby. It seemed as if Rory got worse as time went on. She found herself thinking about what stages she would be in if she was still pregnant. Tristan could tell when something was really getting to her and he found himself wondering if she was dealing with the loss or denying it. He really didn't know what was going on with her. Rory wasn't talking to him and it hurt, but not as much as when she got angry with him. Sometimes, out of nowhere, she would get so angry and blame his work for why this happened, when she knew that there was really nothing and no one to place any blame. Nothing, except maybe fate for dealing them a bad card, which is something that happened to everyone occasionally. There really wasn't anything to do about it except move on and deal. At the moment though Lorelai Leigh DuGrey couldn't do that. For now, wallowing and denial seemed a much better alternative to dealing with and accepting the fact that her baby was gone.

In the past two weeks, if Tristan addressed her by calling her 'Baby', she would break down in an uncontrollable fit of tears. After about the fifth time she declared that as much as she had loved hearing the term of endearment before, it was never to be spoken ever again, in any context. All Tristan could do was agree knowing it would be in his best interest to do so.

In the mornings, Tristan would leave for work and Rory would either stay in bed all day, ignoring the phone whenever it rang or she would sit in the rocking chair that was otherwise completely unused. She hadn't felt like going back to work after coming home from the hospital so she'd done all her articles while at home. No matter what, somehow she was still able to do her work.

She would lay or sit thinking about the events that had lead to the pain that seemed never ending. Would they ever be happy again? Will they always feel this pain? Who really knew? Ever since the doctor let them know the chances of her getting pregnant again, 'pregnancy' and 'pregnant' had ceased to be part of her vocabulary. And no one else was allowed to say it either.

The one maid that they employed would check on the mistress frequently as requested by the mister. As soon as Analisa noticed Rory's appetite or lack there of, she had reported it to Tristan. He knew however that his wife seemed to be on a self destructive path, both physically and emotionally, so he was at a loss as to how he could voice his concerns without her going on a rampage. It seemed that no matter what he said or did to help, all she did was yell at him.

One particular day he came home from work to see her sitting in the living room staring into space. He figured she had fallen into a trance as she was prone to do since this whole ordeal began. Tristan walked up to her and gently asked "What are you thinking about so intensely?"

For a few minutes he got no answer until finally she half spat half mumbled "Nothing." She wanted to be left alone to drown in pain and she couldn't do that if Tristan was always hovering. The only time she ever wanted him anywhere near her was at night. The safe feeling of him within five feet of her at night was what she most wanted. Right now, however, it was only around five in the afternoon. So not only was Tristan about half an hour early, but she still wasn't ready to have him anywhere near her.

Tristan sensed this and sighing to himself, went into his study. Things seemed to be pushing them apart when they should be leaning on each other. He tried not to let work consume him and be his escape, but he couldn't find a way to be there for Rory without her snapping at him.

Rory continued to sit on the couch and went back to her staring. Deep down she knew that what she was doing was wrong. She wished she hadn't been pushing her husband away but it had become an automatic response. The only time she didn't push him away was when she was half asleep. She knew the pain she felt was a combination of the loss of her baby, coupled with the pain she knew she was causing her husband, and it was killing her. Rory had begun to let herself believe that the reason she pushed Tristan away, was cause she was deathly afraid of having another miscarriage. The farther away from her he was, the less chance they had of making love and her getting pregnant again. At this thought, Rory collapsed on the couch in tears. She couldn't stand having Tristan around, but she also hated not being with him. Either way, she couldn't win.

Tristan sat at his desk thinking about Rory. '_If only she would talk to me. Tell me what's going on with her.'_ He thought. Lately the only things she said to him seemed to be 'Go away!' or 'Leave me alone.' There was also the occasional 'nothing' and the mumbles that he couldn't make out. He desperately wished for the days when she would tell him what was on her mind. About an hour later he walked into the dinning room figuring dinner would be ready. When he got there he found the table set, but no Rory. Analisa came in with dinner and noticed him standing there.

"Your wife is asleep on the couch, Mr. DuGrey." She politely told him as she set dinner on the table.

"Thank you, Analisa. I'll be right back." He said to her and left the dining room.

Tristan entered the living room and sure enough Rory had fallen asleep on the couch. After taking a closer look Tristan noticed that she had cried her self to sleep. He went to pick her up and take her up to bed so she could be more comfortable before he went down to eat dinner. He tucked her in thinking 'I'm here for you, you can talk to me but for some reason you won't. Why are you trying to push me away?' He knew he wasn't going to get an answer but he was unable to voice his opinions or concerns while she was awake, afraid it would just make her angry. The constant thoughts in his mind were why she was trying to push him away and why she wouldn't talk to him. He sat there on the bed and watched her sleep for a moment, before heading back to the dining room to eat alone. This had become a normal occurrence lately. He just wanted his dinner companion, his best friend and his wife back. He knew that she was hurting, and that he would probably never fully understand her pain, but he just couldn't understand why she was shutting him out.

After dinner he went up to the bedroom to check on Rory who seemed to still be asleep. Tristan knew better, and could tell she was faking. He walked over to the bed saying "I know you're awake sweetie."

Rory rolled over so she was facing Tristan and said. "So what?" After that she rolled over again and tried to ignore her annoyingly concerned husband.

"Ror, come on talk to me." He pleaded. He would give anything if she would just talk to him, instead of ignoring him and telling him to leave her alone. They were a team and for them to work they had to talk.

"I don't want to, Tristan. Just leave me alone." She said with her back still facing him. She wasn't going to talk to him, no matter how much he begged her. She didn't want to cause she just wasn't ready yet. She just wanted him to leave her alone.

She really wished he would just drop it and wait for her to come to him. Instead he bugged her at least five times a day to talk to him, if not more. After a few moments, Tristan moved so he was sitting on the bed beside Rory. She felt part of the bed dip down when he sat on it.

"We need to talk, Rory, even if you don't want to." He said as he went to rub her arm.

Rory flinched at his touch, and moved farther away from him on the bed to escape him and said "What part of '_leave me alone'_ didn't you get, Tristan?" She was close to snapping again. She just got more and more annoyed each time he tried to get her talk.

Tristan caught the tone in her voice and sighed as he gave up again. The more she told him to leave her alone the more he told himself she was denying the truth of what had happened and of the fact that they needed to talk.

**This was one of three chapter I wrote while waiting for some of the other ones to be sent back after being beta'd. Lala made this chapter and the next one a million times better than it was before I sent them to her. She added and fixed a lot of stuff in here.**


	6. Finally Talking

**Chapter 5: Finally Talking:**

About two days later, Tristan came home to find Rory curled up in the bed crying like there was no tomorrow. He crept up to her side of the bed and hoped she would at least let him hold her. Lately she'd just been ignoring him or coming extremely close to snapping at him when he wouldn't give up and leave her alone.

Tristan was having a hard time dealing with watching his wife grow farther and farther away from him with each passing day. He just wanted things to be the way they used to, before the miscarriage. He remembered when there wasn't anything she couldn't tell him.

Rory had woken up crying, and spent most of the day in bed. She cried herself to sleep, only to wake up sobbing once more. The house and her whole being felt so empty, even when Tristan was around, it felt as if nothing could fill the void. She knew that if she just opened up to Tristan and let him in, she wouldn't feel as empty, but she just couldn't bring herself to do that yet.

'_Why can't I just tell him what's going on and what I'm feeling, like I used to?'_ She wondered, remembering that before this all happened, she had no problem telling him what was on her mind. '_Why do I insist on pushing him away?'_ The distance she was creating between herself and Tristan had only been a small party of what was making her cry. The biggest part was the loss she was finally acknowledging, but still didn't know how to deal with. She knew that if she just let Tristan in, together, they could find out how to deal with it. No matter how many times her conscience told her that this was the best thing to do, she refused adamantly, preferring to hold on to her pain and sorrow.

Upon entering the room and finding Rory in this state, Tristan had to fight himself from running to her side. It was killing him not to be able to pull her to him and comfort her. He stood there for a few minutes, just watching her, letting his heart break slowly at the sight. He couldn't stand it anymore, he knew it would probably just make her get mad again, but if she didn't say something soon, he would. He sensed that something was different. Somehow he knew that she wanted to tell him something, so he decided to give her sometime to gather her thoughts. 'Patience is a virtue.' He thought to himself. After a few more minutes of silence, his patience was finally rewarded. Whether or not she meant to say it, didn't really matter to him. Just knowing that she wasn't going to push him away this time, gave him hope.

"It's all so confusing." Rory had said so quietly that Tristan almost missed it.

"What's all so confusing?" He asked, taking a tentative step forward. He waited patiently for her answer, hoping against all hope that she didn't stop suddenly and crawl back into her shell, only to ignore him again.

"Not much makes sense anymore, Tris. Feelings I don't know how to explain or deal with." Rory replied moving so she was sitting up, "I want to be alone and then I hate to be alone. I want to say so many thing, yet I don't want to talk. No matter what, I keep contradicting myself on just about everything."

Tristan didn't know what to say about that and the one thing he'd really wanted to say he didn't know if he should, because he had no idea how she would react to it. "We can deal with anything, as long as we do it together, Ror." He finally said hoping with everything that she would take it the way it was meant to be taken. '_We should be dealing with everything together, even this.'_ He thought.

By now, Tristan had slowly made it to the bed, and sat down next to her. He made no other move to get closer to her, afraid she would shut down again. Lately, when he got to close or tried to touch her, she would brush him off, and shy away from him. Rory hadn't made any move to get closer to him either. She just sat up so that she was no longer lying down while they talked.

"I don't what to do or how to deal with anything right now." She admitted after a while.

"I'm here and I can help, Ror. Just talk to me and we'll figure it out together." Tristan told her.

Rory had started to get up and out of the bed before she lost her composure and started to cry. "I don't know what I'm feeling most of the time, Tris." She confessed through the tears.

Tristan moved to wrap her in his arms before saying, "Ror, please just talk to me, no matter what. If we stick together we can get through it. Please, don't shut me out."

Rory fell into his arms and let the tears come. She didn't want to shut him out anymore. She needed him. She also knew she had to talk to him, and she would as soon as she didn't have to battle a river of salt. She knew what she wanted to tell him and talk to him about, but she still didn't know how to put them into words. Tristan pulled her closer and tightened his arms around her just letting her cry. He was just happy that they seemed to be taking a step forward, together.

After awhile, Rory composed herself and started to talk again. She hadn't moved away from the warmth of her husband's embrace, missing the safety she always felt in his arms. "Tris, there's something I'm really scared of and it's been bugging me."

Tristan pulled away a little so he could see her face and asked, "What is it?" His hands rubbed her back encouraging her to speak.

Not knowing how he was going to react to what she was about to reveal, she just let it out, the fear evident in her voice. "I'm scared that if I ever get pregnant again I'll lose that baby too. I'm basically just scared of ever getting pregnant again just because of the chances."

Tristan looked at her the whole time she was saying this. "Oh, hunny, we don't know for sure that will happen, and truthfully it scares me too but I know that we can do anything, as long as we do it together." He told her. In his mind, however, he thought, '_What exactly does that mean?'_

"I know, but that was why I've been pushing you away. I just thought if we ever got too close and then in the heat of the moment we had sex and I got pregnant again, I'd worry about another miscarriage. I want kids but I don't know how to deal with that fear of knowing that I might lose another baby." Rory said and realized that her babbling wasn't going to solve anything.

"I want kids also, Mar, but if you aren't ready for that yet, then I'll wait until you are." Tristan said, "Don't be afraid to tell me things, Rory. We need to be able to talk to each other if we're going to get through this." He had moved to sit down on the bed and pulled Rory onto his lap.

"What if I'm never ready again, Tris? What happens then?" She asked the fear still evident in her tone.

"Honestly, I don't know. How about for now, we just deal with things as they come along?" He suggested, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Good idea." Rory said through a yawn as she laid her head on Tristan's shoulder.

Tristan noticed the yawn and with a tone that conveyed concern asked "Have you been getting much sleep, Ror?"

"No. Every time I try, I end up tossing and turning. The only times I've slept remotely well is at night when you're there." She replied through another yawn with her eyes half closed.

"I can have Analisa save dinner for a while so you can get some sleep." Tristan said maneuvering them both so he could lay her down on the bed.

"Okay but only if you lay with me." She agreed, holding onto his arm.

Tristan put the blankets on her and nodded, then said "I'll go down and tell Analisa to put dinner aside, then I'll come right back." He said, as he kissed her lightly before leaving the room.

A few minutes later he came back, kicked off his shoes, and climbed into bed. She immediately turned towards him, and he pulled her close letting her know without words, that he was going to be there for her, and as long as they stuck together, they would get through anything. For the first time in two weeks, the young couple fell into a restful sleep knowing that finally, they were taking a step in the right direction, _together_.

**The last chapter for now...also a million times better than it was before beta.**


	7. Weekend Away

**Chapter 6: Weekend Away:**

Rory woke up the next morning, realizing she had missed dinner, having slept the entire night. When she rolled over, she found that Tristan was gone. She had no idea what time it was so she figured he had left for work already. Once she had gotten out of bed she saw a note on her dresser, which she picked up and read.

**_Ror,_**

I took the afternoon off today so I'll be home at lunch. I was thinking we could go away for the weekend. We'll talk about it when I get home.

Love,  
Tristan

'_Hmmm…Maybe I'll have time to go into work this morning.'_ She thought as she picked out clothes. She hadn't gone back after coming home from the hospital, instead choosing to do her articles from home. This was the first time she even thought about going back to work. She knew she would have to eventually, so why not now?

Rory got dressed and after grabbing some breakfast, headed out to her car. She sat in her car for about an hour before going back into the house without even putting the keys in the ignition.

'_Ok, maybe I'm not quite ready to go back to work yet.'_ She thought as she sat on the couch throwing the keys onto the coffee table.

Her absence from work had been unexplained since no one there had known she was pregnant. In a way she was glad that the only people who had known were Paris, Lane and Tristan's family and her family, it seemed a little easier that way. How was she going to explain her absence from work once she did go back? Maybe she could just say she'd gotten a really bad cold or flu.

Rory turned on the TV to have something to do and maybe drown out her thoughts. She didn't know how she would explain the long absence from work to her boss or anyone else who would ask when she finally went back.

When Tristan got home at noon he discovered Rory laying on the couch looking at the TV. One look at her face told him she was thinking.

"How was your morning?" He asked her after a minute. He held his breath hoping that she wasn't going to shut him out like she had the other day.

Rory was broken from her reverie at the sound of Tristan's voice. For a second she was confused, as she looked around. She couldn't believe it was already noon. She sat up a little before answering. "It was…confusing." She replied truthfully. Rory had spent all morning thinking and not coming up with any answers. If anything, she was even more confused.

"Why's that?" He asked, his body relaxing as he sat by her feet, laying her feet on his lap.

Rory moved closer to Tristan on the couch and after turning off the TV replied "I woke up this morning completely fine thinking that maybe I could go into work but I ended up getting only as far as my car. I sat there for an hour before heading back into the house. Then I started thinking about how I would explain why I haven't been to work in so long. I don't know how to explain that since no one outside of our families, Lane and Paris knew we were expecting. I don't want people to ask why I've been gone so long and have nothing to say."

"At least you tried going back today, Ror. That should count for something." Tristan reassured her snaking an arm around her shoulders and looking at her as he talked.

"I want to be able to go back so badly." Rory said, "I know I'm not completely away from work but I want to go back to the newspaper office and experience the everyday craziness again. I want things to go back to normal." She added while leaning her head on his shoulder.

Analisa came into the living room to announce lunch was ready. "Oh…I didn't know you were coming home for lunch, Mr. DuGrey." She said to Tristan after telling the couple lunch was served.

"That's okay, Analisa. Only Rory knew." He remarked to the maid.

Analisa nodded as she left the living room, as Rory and Tristan got off the couch. He put his arm around her shoulders again as they walked to the dining room where lunch was waiting. After the couple ate lunch together, they went back to the living room to talk some more.

They sat together on the love seat and Tristan said "I was thinking, maybe we could go to the house in Martha's Vineyard for a little while. Leave today and spend the weekend there. What do you think?" He nervously, while playing with her hand. He wasn't sure if she'd be up to spending time alone with him.

Rory loved the idea and said "Sure. We just have to pack and…"

Tristan cut her off by saying "I was also thinking we could stay through Monday at least and come back that night or early Tuesday morning."

"What about work?" Rory asked him wondering if his missing one day of work would be a problem.

"I took the day off so we could spend the weekend and all of Monday in Martha's Vineyard." Tristan replied, "I don't have any pressing work right now anyway."

"And your dad was okay with you taking half a day off today and all of Monday?" Rory asked sounding very curious.

"He's actually the one who suggested I take all this time off." Tristan replied.

"Seriously?" Rory asked astonished. She knew Hugh DuGrey to be a very work-minded man and had heard Tristan say that he wanted his son to be that way as well.

"He knows how hard the past few weeks have been for us and said I should take some time off to spend with you." Tristan told her, "So what do you think? Are we going to The Vineyard?" She smiled, as she nodded her head.

"Sure. Maybe a weekend away will be good for us." Rory replied, "But we should go pack now." She got off the couch to head for the room and start packing.

"I'll go tell Analisa and the rest of the staff they have the weekend off." Tristan said also getting up off the couch.

She nodded in agreement. Before she could leave to start packing, Tristan pulled her into his arms and gave her a light kiss. When they pulled back, she was smiling, and he could see a gleam in her eyes that he hadn't seen since they lost the baby. 'This weekend just might be exactly what we both need.' He thought releasing her and heading for the kitchen.

Rory headed up the stairs as soon as Tristan went to the kitchen. 'Now where is that suitcase?' She asked herself heading for the storage closet. When they had gotten married five years ago Tristan's grandfather had given them a full set of luggage.

After a few minutes of searching the storage closet she found the suitcase she was looking for and took it into their bedroom. She packed her clothes first and then went to get shower necessities and packed them along with anything else she would need for the weekend. Tristan came into the room a few minutes later and started packing his stuff.

Just as he finished packing, he asked "Did you want to take the limo or should we drive ourselves?"

"Wouldn't taking the limo mean that John would have to work this weekend?" Rory wondered, watching as Tristan did up the suitcase.

"I guess it would." Tristan replied, "So I guess we're driving then." He picked up the suitcase and started leaving the room with it.

"Yup. Besides, this way we have a car to drive us around once we get there." Rory said.

They left the house and packed up the car to leave before locking up and driving off. They got to Martha's Vineyard just in time to get settled in for the weekend and grab something to eat before going to bed.

The whole weekend was spent, just the two of them, hanging out, and enjoying each others company. They talked about anything and everything, from serious topics to complete nonsense, which would have them laughing so hard they would be close to tears. Basically, they were having a great time. Everything seemed to be going great till Sunday night, when they ran into one of her co-workers and his wife who was about eight months pregnant. Rory couldn't deal with seeing them. Amanda was glowing from excitement at the knowledge that a new life was growing inside of her, and her husband Jason was just as excited at the thought of having a new son or daughter. She ran out of the restaurant with a fleeting look at the happily pregnant couple. The word and all variations of it that she couldn't bear to even think of since the miscarriage were now staring her in the face and there was nothing she could do about it. How she hadn't known about them expecting a baby was beyond her, seeing as how Jason worked at the same news paper.

Tristan had politely excused himself. He knew Jason and Amanda were probably confused to what could have happened, but he didn't have time for explanations. He needed to find his wife, and be there for her. They'd be making such good progress, and he couldn't let her relapse into keeping things to herself and not talking to him. The lack of communication between the two almost destroyed them both. He knew that they needed to talk more, and once he found her, that's exactly what they did. He thanked God that she wasn't holding back from him. All her fears emerged, and he sat there, holding her, listening, and letting her know it would all be ok. After all the talking and crying, she ended up falling asleep with her head against Tristan's shoulder, tears streaming down her face. Tristan gently lay her down on the bed and pulled the sheets up around her before climbing in himself. He fell asleep thinking '_Is this how she's going to react with every pregnant couple?'_

Tristan woke up early the next morning, hours before Rory would ever be up, and walked out to the balcony, just outside their bedroom. The grounds of their house looked beautiful in the early morning sunlight. He saw the paper boy was about to drop off they're paper, and decided it was time to start the day. Once he got downstairs he put on the coffee and went to grab this morning's issue of the Vineyard Gazette that was sitting on the front step.

Amanda was grabbing their paper outside across the street and noticed Tristan. She had been thoroughly confused about what happened the night before when his wife ran away from the couple. She was worried that they had done or said something to offend her, but she couldn't think of what it might have been. She decided to walk across the street to find out about the night before.

"Good morning." She said figuring she'd start with simple conversation and before broaching the subject.

Tristan had just been heading in when Amanda spoke to him. "Good morning." He said, with a smile, hiding his surprise.

"So what are you and Rory planning for the day?" She asked fiddling with her newspaper.

"We're going to breakfast at Café Moxie and then we're going to head home." He replied wondering '_What's with the sudden questions?'_

"Ah. Jason and I are going back this afternoon." Amanda said knowing she should probably just ask what she wanted to ask him.

"So what are you doing until then?" Tristan asked, being polite, but wanting nothing more than to go check on Rory.

"We don't actually have any plans." Amanda replied. 'Ask. The only thing that will happen is that he'll not answer.' She thought as she was speaking. "Actually I wanted to ask you about last night." Amanda started tentatively.

"What about last night?" Tristan wondered; again noticing how happy she looked pregnant. '_Rory used to have that look.'_ He remembered.

"It's just Rory…she left kind of fast." Amanda replied not really knowing how to ask, "Is she okay?"

'_Rory is far from okay.'_ He thought when Amanda asked that. Instead he replied "Yah. She is now. She was just sad last night." Tristan knew it was half a lie but he couldn't tell her the truth.

"Oh. Well as long as she's okay now." Amanda remarked completely believing what he said.

Satisfied with Tristan's answer, she wished him and Rory a safe trip home, then said goodbye and headed back to her house. Tristan headed inside to check on Rory and see if she was awake. They had to get going soon for breakfast if they wanted to be back in Hartford soon. He wasn't going back to work until the next day but they were going to spend some time with her mom, Luke and her little sister, Marci Ann. The couple grabbed breakfast at Café Moxie and then headed home.


End file.
